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By Raoul Mowatt
Special to MSN Entertainment
In the immortal words of poet and visionary MC Hammer, "Ring the bell. School's back in." Or it soon will be for millions of teens.
That makes now the perfect time to consider how TV's take on high school compares to the real thing. See which of these high schools would have worked out best for you or your children. Or, on the flip side, thank your lucky stars that you didn't end up at some of these joints.
Best Schools for Rich Brats
Constance Billard School for
Girls and St. Jude's School for Boys, "Gossip Girl"
The trouble with this category is that there are so many candidates from which to choose. "The O.C.," "Veronica Mars," and "Beverly Hills, 90210" all have more than their share of trust-fund kids. What gives "Gossip Girl" the edge is that even the "poor" kids are doing pretty darn well for themselves. Dan and Jenny's dad was a former rock star who owns an art gallery. They share a nice apartment. It's not like they're hanging around waiting for their welfare check.
Best School for Jocks
Dillon High School, "Friday Night Lights"
In Dillon, football isn't everything. It's the only thing. If you're able to throw the pigskin or break tackles, prepare to be showered with affection from local wheeler-dealers like Bud Garrity, have your homework done by impressionable "rally girls," and generally get treated as a local celebrity by the entire town. Sure, there's pressure to perform that may cause you to snap at your parents or take performance-enhancing drugs, but you can always count on Coach Taylor to give you the advice you need about life or the gridiron to get your head on straight. As long as you aren't messing with his daughter, that is.
Best School for Geniuses
Monroe High School (and later,
Millard Fillmore High), "Head of the Class"
The brainiacs in the Individualized Honors Program could score high on any standardized test you could give them. But it took a couple of special teachers to show them that life is about more than making straight A's. Isn't that sweet?
Worst Schools for Life Expectancy
Smallville High
School, "Smallville"; Sunnydale
High School, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer"
It's pretty amazing that Smallville High had enough of a student body left to actually field a graduating class. First, there were those people who got mutated by Kryptonite and eventually died. There were the K-freak victims, who got frozen, stung or otherwise killed. There were the car accidents that seemed to happen in just about every "Smallville" episode. Then there were the random accidents (and not-so accidental happenings) at nearby Luthorcorp.
As for Sunnydale High, the lesson there is to make sure you don't build a high school over a cauldron of infernal energy known as a Hellmouth. To get through high school, Buffy had to make it through vampires, demons, witches and a mayor who turned himself into a giant snake.
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