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Amanda Woodward, "Melrose
Place"
(Fox, 1992-1999) The minxy love child of J.R. Ewing
and "All My Children's" Erica Kane, Heather Locklear's flinty
Amanda was the steely backbone of Aaron Spelling's soapy
masterpiece. What Amanda wanted, she got: businesses, boyfriends,
real estate, other women's husbands. Nobody ever looked so fierce in
a power mini-suit. | |
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Bill O'Reilly, "The O'Reilly
Factor"
(Fox News, 1996-present). If Baretta -- or Travis
Bickle --
had his own newscast, this is what it'd be. For the
throw-the-baloney-sandwich-at-the-TV-as-you-shriek
quotient,
you can't beat O'Reilly's show (though Nancy Grace's
is a close
second). He's a jerk and a proud provocateur;
even if you
disagree with him, you can hardly turn him off.
That's right:
Shut Up! | |
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Catwoman, "Batman"
(ABC,
1966-1968). Eartha Kitt and Lee Meriwether have their
fans, but the Catwoman who earned nine lives for her statuesque,
slinky nastiness was the original, Julie Newmar. Honestly, we never
really thought the Joker, the Penguin or the Riddler could pull one
over on Batman, but who could miss his squirming when Newmar padded
in on little cat feet? Halle Berry, eat your
heart out. | |
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Eddie Haskell, "Leave It to
Beaver"
(ABC, 1957-1963). What saved this wholesome sitcom
from a saccharine aftertaste was the unctuous, two-faced Eddie
Haskell, whose very name has come to mean "insincere brown-noser"
("Why, good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver... "). Weren't we all just
a little disappointed when the actor who played him, Ken Osmond, ended up
becoming an L.A. cop and doing something meaningful with his life?
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Maj. Frank Burns,
"M*A*S*H"
(CBS, 1972-1983; Burns 1972-1977). Larry Linville
played the hypocritical, obsequious Burns to perfection as the foil
of Capt. Hawkeye Pierce and gang. As the series used its Korean War
setting to comment on the Vietnam War and present-day politics,
Burns' blowhard character received potshots as a stand-in for the
Nixon administration as well as a military whose goals seemed murky
at best. Typical exchange: Burns: "Why does everyone take an instant
dislike to me?" Trapper John: "It saves time, Frank."
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Soup Nazi, "Seinfeld"
(NBC,
1990-1998). OK, I actually ate the real guy's soup in New York. He
was horrible! And mean! (Good soup, though.) What, you thought
Newman was a better bad guy? No soup for you!
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