'Timecop'

You might vaguely recall that Jean-Claude Van Damme made one movie that people actually liked, before his transformation into the straight-to-DVD punchline we all see on video store shelves now. Three years later, ABC unveiled a sci-fi adventure series under the same "Timecop" name, minus the Muscles From Brussels and his scivvy-flaunting countertop splits. Instead, audiences got Ted King as the agent of the Time Enforcement Commission, hunting down criminals who attempted to change the past. Despite some decent ratings, the network ultimately decided that the show cost too much Van Damme money to produce, pulling the plug long before the show ever reached its futuristic setting of 2007.

'Ferris Bueller'

On the big screen, smooth-talking high school student Ferris Bueller could work his way out of any tough spot -- but even his powers of persuasion couldn't save him from creatively bankrupt TV execs trying to make a buck off a hit movie. With new-Ferris Charlie Schlatter taking a chainsaw to the head of a Matthew Broderick cardboard cut-out in the first episode, the series relocated the very Chicago plotline to California, and turned Ferris' charm into annoying cockiness. The show's producers did get one thing right, however: giving an early gig to 21-year-old actress Jennifer Aniston, who stepped in for an absent Jennifer Grey in the role of Ferris' sister, Jeannie. Between the "Bueller" debacle and her role in the first "Leprechaun" flick, it's a miracle that Aniston didn't end up with the career of Frank Stallone. What was even more surprising, however, was that the show "Parker Lewis Can't Lose" ripped off the Ferris formula and spent three seasons on FOX showing TV fans how the "Bueller" show should have been done.

'Rambo'

In retrospect, the decision is even more mind-boggling now than it was at the time: Imagine that you own the rights to a blockbuster, R-rated movie series about a mentally deranged Vietnam veteran who slaughters dozens of local police officers with a giant hunting knife. Wouldn't that make for a great children's cartoon show? Sure enough, 1986 found an animated Rambo and his Force of Freedom team battling General Warhawk and his evil S.A.V.A.G.E. organization. Naturally, in true 1980s style, Rambo would spray the villains with heavy gunfire and they'd escape without so much as an injury. Believe it or not, Sylvester Stallone is currently filming the fourth "Rambo" film that will bring the character back once again; let's hope the cartoon show doesn't return with him.

'My Big Fat Greek Life'

In 2002, Nia Vardalos was the star of one of the year's top movies, an in-demand new talent with the world at her fingertips, and a girl-next-door who seemed like she could do no wrong. Barely a year later, she couldn't even get people to watch her for free. At the time, Vardalos' decision to turn "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" into a TV show was a head-scratching career move -- after all, aren't actors supposed to try NOT to be typecast? Regardless, she pressed forward with "Life" and, by the time it hit the air, the Portokalos family had gone from endearing to annoying, eccentric to contrived and fresh to faddish. The show's flat writing didn't help, and neither did the glaring omission of John Corbett, who promised to appear on "Life" when his schedule would allow -- but never did, given the show's quick demise. Ever since, Vardalos' has been little more than a big fat trivia question answer.