Simon Cowell, "American Idol" (Fox): The judge, jury and executioner that all others can only aspire to. Cowell has been more explosive than ever this season -- his contempt for the "Sanjaya situation" and his exasperation at host Ryan Seacrest erupting together. But, Cowell makes for great TV, and this season is among his best. His comments range from, "I thought it had all the joy of someone singing in a funeral parlor" (to Phil) and, "It was just a mess -- it was all over the place" (to Chris). But, hey, he's got a happy side, too: His comment on Latin night to Sanjaya has already entered the pop-culture lexicon: "It wasn't horrible." Rock on!

Len Goodman, "Dancing With the Stars" (ABC): Cheery and frumpy as only an English expert in ballroom dancing can be, Goodman can be harsh, but he delivers the worst news with such British zeal. It helps that he totally appears not to hear the jeers of the often-disagreeing fans.

Nina Garcia, "Project Runway" (Bravo): She's flinty, she's utterly dismissive and she looks like she hasn't eaten more than 300 calories in any given week. So, the peevish assessments from the Elle magazine fashion maven are delivered with a pained expression and without so much as a token, "I like that color," or anything else. (Runner up: Garcia's sister-publication judge, Margaret Russell, editor in chief of Elle: Décor mag and "Top Design's" snootiest panelist.)

Robin Antin, "Pussycat Doll Presents: The Search for the Next Doll" (The CW):
While judging young women on how well they gyrate around -- on a stage -- in fishnets, skimpy lingerie, or less -- Antin manages to make judging appear as though she's bestowing the Man Booker prize. Her imperious words of heartbreaking dismissal: "Not everyone can be a Pussycat Doll."

Paula Abdul, "American Idol" (Fox): Abdul started the current season in her loopiest state yet, causing conjecture about drug and alcohol use and abuse, and worse. But she's kept it together in recent weeks and is back to being the mostly coherent sweetie pie who gushes, "It's young, it's fresh, it's hot, I loved it!" to every third contestant. If Paula's not boogeying along with your tune, you haven't started singing yet.

Carrie Ann Inaba, "Dancing With the Stars" (ABC): The former Fly Girl and backup dancer for Madonna knows her moves, and isn't above a strong critique if required, but she is more often the voice of encouragement on an otherwise rather dour panel. We can almost forgive her blind spot about Apolo and Julianne. Almost.

Todd Oldham, "Top Design" (Bravo): The former fashionista has made a seamless transition into the Tim Gunn-wrangler role, assigning aspiring home decorators/designers with carpenters and others, while his chirpy persona gives the show a lot of its charm.

Dorothy Hamill, "Skating With Celebrities" (Fox): Maybe it was just that she loved being back in the spotlight (Face it -- skating fans loved seeing her, too), but Hamill rarely met a toe jump she didn't like. She made Abdul seem downright professorial.