Posted Dec. 18, 2008

Paris Hilton and deep thoughts go together like Tara Reid and virgin daiquiris, but that hasn't stopped her from sharing the stuff rattling around her head in the pages of January's Esquire.

Among the "20 pearls of wisdom from the heiress on her goals" is this gem, which should educate those of you who have been stupidly using your living space only for sleeping, eating and protection from the elements: "Having a nightclub in your house really helps for having a party, because then you don't need to go out."

Her palatial pad is nicknamed the "Paris Palace," and it's "the best thing I've ever bought with money," she says. "It's beautiful. Every room has beautiful crystal chandeliers and amazing moldings from Italy. When people come over, they say, 'Hey, this looks just like you.'"

Paris threatens to lift up her skirt at a Dolce & Gabbana event in Los Angeles on Dec. 15. (©Retna Ltd.)

Paris, 27, who was spied enjoying a cozy tête-à-tête with ex Benji Madden on Tuesday night at a Los Angeles shindig, adds that she has it on good authority that she hasn't let fame go to her head.

"Because of my last name and the way I look, some people think I'm a spoiled brat," she notes. "But I'm not like that at all. I'm one of the most down-to-earth people I know out of anyone in Hollywood."

And that's quite an accomplishment, given how early the seed was planted for her life's ambition.

"I was the oldest granddaughter. Everyone was so excited that I was born they would always take pictures of me. My grandma would call me Marilyn Monroe or Grace Kelly," Hilton recalls. "Ever since I was little, it's what I knew I wanted to do -- be a blond icon."

She says she has pictures of Monroe all over her Paris Palace, and believes the seminal bombshell is "going to be one of those people who's talked about forever and ever. I don't know if people will be talking about me that way when I'm 75."

But, if they are, it won't be because of her enduring sexiness with the younger generation.

"You may not be able to be hot when you're 75 in a conventional sense," figures Paris. "Like, young people won't think you're hot. But your husband will, and so will people your own age."

But a spritz or two of her perfume might help in that endeavor: "I put pheromones in a lot of my fragrances, and that attracts people to you."

Paris is also a big believer in politeness ("I always send thank-you notes. If somebody has done something really special for me, I'll make them a collage of pictures or a little piece of art.") and congeniality ("I'm not jealous. I don't understand why people are jealous. You have so much better karma in life when you wish other people the best.").

And she appears to be attempting to rack up a few extra points in the good-karma column by being philanthropic, although her benevolence is borne out of fashion necessity.

"Once I've worn a dress, I can never wear it again," explains Paris. "I give them to charities and they auction them off to help people with breast cancer, multiple sclerosis and AIDS. Some that are really, really special, I keep in storage for my daughters. They'll be vintage by then. I think my daughters will love them."

(Let's just hope that this storage locker doesn't fall into the wrong hands, like her other one did.)

And it turns out Hilton isn't just visualizing how she'll dress mini-versions of herself -- she's also thought about the motherly advice she'll give them in dealing with the paparazzi.

"I would just tell them to not pay too much attention and don't do anything silly like give the middle finger," she suggests. "It will just make them look bad, and the photographers get more money for shots like that."

Paris admits she's puzzled by how many people are eager to be in the line of flashbulb fire, especially given the tremendous effort involved in achieving all that she's achieved.

"I don't know why everyone wants to be famous," she says. "To make a living, I guess. Maybe they think it's an easy job."

Not so, insists Hilton.

"Things may seem to naturally come my way," she says. "But I work hard for them, too. I have good karma."

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