Posted Oct. 27, 2008

In a story that warms the cockles of our cold, cold heart, Mary-Kate Olsen has apparently become fast friends with an octogenarian comedic legend. People reports the teeny mogul, 22, spent Saturday "giggling and cavorting" with 82-year-old Mel Brooks (yes, the man who brought the world "Blazing Saddles," "The Producers," "Young Frankenstein," and "Spaceballs," to name but a few) at the Breeders' Cup races in Santa Anita, Calif. A source says the kooky twosome "immediately clicked" at the event and were soon chitchatting and hitting the betting booth together. At one point, says the mag, Ashley's more eccentric half was getting fidgety as she sat solo in a private box, but she started laughing when Brooks appeared and patted her "lovingly" -- and presumably in a grandfatherly fashion -- on the head. Meanwhile, MK, who told Oprah last week that she's "not in a relationship" (she was last linked to New York artist Nate Lowman), wants everyone to know that she and her twin sis do more than just dress up in designer-wear and suck down Big Gulp-size cups of Starbucks. "This whole idea that we don't do anything seems crazy to us," the pocketsize mogul tells The New York Times, "because we have been working since we were 9 months old."

Katie plays with Suri at Central Park in New York on Oct. 23. (©Splash News)

Now that Suri Cruise's overgrown bangs have been chopped into a kicky pageboy, she's taking advantage of her clear field of vision by checking out some soaring hairstyles. The New York Daily News reports that the perpetually party dress-clad tot took in the bouffant-crammed Broadway production of "Hairspray" on Friday night with her Matt Lauer-roasting dad Tom but sans mom Katie Holmes. This was Suri's second trip to the musical in five months, although her seeming enthusiasm for Tracy Turnblad remains undimmed. The paper says the "wide-eyed" 2-year-old, chomping on M&Ms and holding onto her security blanket, stood on her seat "with excitement" (or maybe with a sugar high and an inability to focus on a lengthy, adult-themed stage show) for a good portion of the performance, despite Cruise's "gentle" attempts to get her to plant it.

In related news, David Beckham says there's no truth to talk that Cruise attempted to turn him and wife Victoria on to the teachings of L. Ron Hubbard. "I respect any person's religion. Everybody's got their own ideas," the easy-on-the-eyes if squeaky-voiced soccer star tells British GQ. "And, of course, Tom is a big believer in Scientology, but he's never pushed anything on to us about it and he never will do. Friends don't do that." In lieu of strapping themselves to an E-meter or clearing out each other's Thetans, the pals prefer to chow down and take in a flick. "He came round for dinner a few weeks ago," continues Beckham. "But it's the same with him. We just go 'round and watch a film. It's not a big deal, it's just popping 'round to watch a film or to mess around and play with the kids."

Meanwhile, Beckham is doing some pop-bys of his own with Seal and Heidi Klum. "David pops 'round to have a kick around with the kids and give them tips," the crooner tells the London Sun. "He's so good with children. Sometimes his kids come over too. They really enjoy it." Seal, who is dad to ankle-biters Henry, Johan and Leni, says he has the "utmost respect" for the Beckhams and their three sons. "I believe you can tell a lot about people through their kids, and Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz are three of the most respectable, well-mannered kids you'd ever come across," he gushes. "They are a very classy family."

No one puts the "hype" in hypocrite quite like Michael Lohan. Lindsay's loose-lipped, attention-addicted dad tells New York magazine that he's really sorry he called her inamorata, Samantha Ronson, "dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity" in an e-mail rant last month. "I definitely regret all the things I said about Samantha," he tells the mag. "I'm a Christian. I should not pass judgment on anyone." His says his missive was an attempt to "reach out" to his estranged daughter, who instead called him a "public embarrassment and a bully." "In the past, I felt that the best way to get to her was to speak out publicly. And it was the wrong choice," he explains publicly, adding that he's once again in contact with Lindsay. He then tells the media outlet with nary a hint of irony, "Family matters should be kept private. I've learned that now."

Amy is spotted sucking on cancer sticks in London earlier this year. (©Retna Ltd.)

At this stage of Amy Winehouse's pitiable decline, running medical tests on her is akin to running a dehumidifier aboard the sinking Titanic -- only less effective. The London Daily Mirror reports the substance-sucking, "I'm a mess"-admitting singer headed to a London clinic on Saturday for tests of her chest and lungs. "Amy is in [the] hospital being checked out for a chest infection. She is not back in rehab," her rep tells the paper. "She should be fine and is expected to return home soon." "Fine" seems like a serious stretch given Winehouse's current sad state -- cadaverous body, candy corn-colored teeth and facial scabs -- and the fact that back in June, doctors reportedly diagnosed her with what her flack described as "early signs of what could lead to emphysema." This latest check-in, which was initially thought to be yet another attempt at rehab (she tried -- and failed -- to kick her bad habits at the same facility in January), comes a few days after Amy reportedly blew off a scheduled meeting with police over a September incident in which she's accused of clocking a female fan. "She's doing so many drugs, she is completely out of it," a source alleges to the London Sun. "It's hardly surprising she missed the interview."

It can be exhausting trying to change the world, so we can't really blame Bono for enjoying a little time off in picturesque St. Tropez. Still, he might want to consider instituting a ban on photographs with bikini-clad lovelies, otherwise people might get the wrong idea. The London Daily Mail has published some recent snaps of the U2 front man, 48, acting goofy with a pair of 19-year-olds, who apparently posted the pics to their Facebook page. But one of the girls insists that nothing untoward went on with the "much older" (her words) rocker, who last week treated his wife and kids to a trip to Disneyland. "No ... God no!' she declares to the paper. "God no! He's a friend of mine and that's pretty much it. I'm not going to get into details, but it's a small world."

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