Last month, Eva Longoria Parker labeled her still-teensy-but-ever-so-slightly fuller figure "fat" as she brushed off persistent pregnancy rumors while appearing on a French television show. But her idea of zaftig seems a wee bit distorted considering what she tells the November issue of Allure, namely, "I'm still a size zero." The "Desperate Housewives" actress, who says she added a few pounds to her petite frame to bring some verisimilitude to her alter ego's harried mom status this season, adds, "I never went up a size! I just got rounder."

Lindsay arrives at the Diesel xXx Rock & Roll Circus in New York on Oct. 11. (©Louis Dollagaray/Retna Ltd.)

As part of Lindsay Lohan's attempts to expand her brand (it's OK to laugh), she's not only launched a new line of leggings called 6126 (it's named after her idol Marilyn Monroe's birthday, because "she represents timeless, confident glam," says the starlet), but she also has her very own self-tanning product in the works. The bronzing line is reportedly geared for a spring 2009 launch, but the Samantha Ronson-smitten actress may be doing some product testing on her own. Lohan hit the Diesel xXx Rock & Roll Circus bash in Brooklyn on Saturday night styling perilously high platform stilettos that highlighted her tanned, toned legs and, unfortunately, her white-as-snow ankles and feet. Meanwhile, the London Daily Mail claims Lindsay and Samantha are "on the rocks after a string of arguments," but People spotted the pair as they "kissed, texted and danced back-to-back" while Ronson deejayed at the Crimson Lounge in Chicago on Friday night. The Chicago Sun-Times adds that LiLo invited local soldiers, just back from Iraq, up to the DJ booth to take pictures with her.

The next time you're grumbling about how much your job sucks, just remember: You could be Mariah Carey's luggage wrangler. The New York Post says that when Mrs. Nick Cannon hopped a private jet with her hubby from Los Angeles to Las Vegas last week, she had so much baggage that two of her staffers had to fly with the overflow on Southwest Airlines.

Paris is spotted at Heathrow Airport in London on Oct. 7. (©Camera Press/Retna Ltd.)

In other high-maintenance mile-high news, did Paris Hilton delay getting off a flight from Los Angeles to London in order to freshen up before facing photographers? So says the London Daily Mirror, which alleges the BFF-seeking starlet "refused" to vacate her first-class seat until she'd touched up her makeup and slipped into something more stylish. "Every other passenger had got off the aircraft, but she stayed on," alleges a spy, "telling the staff she couldn't possibly be seen in public until she had decided on her outfit." But is Paris being unfairly accused of post-flight vanity? Thanks to her ever-present paparazzi pals, it's clear she didn't change upon landing: She's kitted out in the same pink and white sweat suit at the London airport that she had on when she boarded her flight at LAX.

And finally, Colin Farrell has been happily dating British writer Emma Forrest for several months, but he's still wistful about the sexy septuagenarian who slipped through his fingers, so to speak. During a recent interview with British TV host Jonathan Ross, the amiable Irish actor discussed his unsuccessful attempt to seduce his "Ask the Dust" co-star, Dame Eileen Atkins, a few years back. "The one that got away! I gave it all that I was worth," he says of being rebuffed during what Atkins described in 2005 as "two-and-a-half hours [of] saying 'no.'" "She's an incredibly attractive woman, wicked. I fell at the first hurdle, my ego couldn't take any more refusals." Adds Farrell, "I saw her in New York and said our time will come. ... It's unfinished business!" And while we're not implying that Colin's judgment was hampered when he came on to the married veteran actress, he reveals his formerly perpetually pie-eyed state was killing him. "I'd been drinking since I was 14. I was pretty sick. At the beginning [of recovery], I found it really hard," he admits. "For me there was no choice. ... It was tough but I was dying. I was struggling not to have a complete meltdown. ... I'm glad I'm out of that cycle. I'm very lucky."

Next: Angelina Gets Up Close and Personal in Words and Pictures