Can't we all just get along? Eh, scratch that -- celebrities are always so much more fun when they're slamming someone or something. In this bad-mouthing edition, we bring you girl fighting, Botox-baiting and more.

"Those girls were hateful." So snipes Star Jones to Essence as she calls out the supposedly vitriolic behavior of her former "View" co-hosts Joy Behar, Elisabeth Hasselbeck and Barbara Walters after she announced she was leaving the gab-fest.

The gastric bypass-slimmed Star ("That surgery saved my life," she says) also accuses the most senior member of the coffee klatch of conspiring against her, telling the mag, "Barbara set me up."

(In her onetime couch mates' defense, they did have to sit through months and months of Jones endlessly babbling about her corporate-sponsored fairytale wedding to her Prince Charming, also known as Al "Legs of a Stallion" Reynolds, whom she split with in March. That would be enough to make anyone a mite cranky.)

Sharon Osbourne fails to take her own advice to shush it. (© Sara De Boer/Retna Ltd.)

Anyhoo, someone else who's undergone gastric bypass -- and a host of other procedures -- is giving a tongue-lashing to stars who deny partaking in the latest medical breakthroughs.

"Oh my God! Those liars! I hate them! Those b----es!" Sharon Osbourne railed during an appearance on E!'s "Chelsea Lately." "They are like, 'I didn't do anything.' Meanwhile, their eyebrows are here. Lying b----!"

Sharon, whose plastic surgeon probably enjoys rolling around in a crisp pile of cash collected from her admitted boob job, butt lift, leg lift, liposuction, tummy tuck and facelift, reserves extra venom for a certain line-free Oscar winner.

"Nicole Kidman's forehead looks like a [bleeping] flat-screen TV!" snipes Sharon. "How big is that forehead?"

Nicole shows off her completely natural self at a Los Angeles event on Oct. 6. (© Sara De Boer/Retna Ltd.)

While Mrs. Keith Urban's polished-to-a-glossy-sheen visage, which is currently highlighted on the cover of Elle magazine, has long aroused suspicions that she has a weakness for the latest dermatological advancements, she maintains she's living botulism-free.

"To be honest, I am completely natural," Kidman insisted to Marie Claire UK last year. "I have nothing in my face or anything. I wear sunscreen, I don't smoke and I take care of myself, and I'm very proud to say that."

And finally, Mark Wahlberg may have found fame by dropping his pants and showing off his six-pack abs in designer tighty-whities, but he's not big on humor at his expense.

Seems he wasn't laughing along with a left-field send-up on the Oct. 4 edition on "Saturday Night Live" that had him chitchatting with creatures great and small.

In "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals," Andy Samberg addresses a dog, donkey, chicken and goat in a pitch-perfect, if totally random, impersonation of the tough-talking actor.

Sample dialogue: "Hey goat. It's good to see you. I like your beard. I had a beard like that in 'The Perfect Storm.' Did you see that movie? Say hi to your mother for me, OK."

When asked about the skit, subtitled "Barky Bark and the Donkey Bunch" on NBC's Web site, Wahlberg acknowledged to the New York Post that he'd seen it but didn't really enjoy it.

"Someone showed it to me on YouTube. It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure," he tells the paper. "And 'Saturday Night Live' hasn't been funny for a long time. They've asked me to do the show a ton of times. I used to watch it when Eddie Murphy was there and Joe Piscopo and Bill Murray. I don't even know who's on the show now."