Looks like Mary-Kate Olsen may have had a passion for more than just fashion as she checked out the latest couture offerings in Paris last week. The New York Post says the teensy, septuagenarian-chic starlet got all cultural by engaging in some French-style smooching with an unidentified "scruffy" guy while hanging out at a hot spot. Not an unusual encounter for a 21-year-old in the City of Light, right? Alas, the story soon takes a bit of an apocryphal-sounding turn as the paper claims MK's "tall" suitor "pushed" her against a wall and "furiously made out with her" as their fellow patrons applauded. But wait, it gets even more French New Wave-y, as the clapping quickly turned into a standing ovation when the frisky twin supposedly wound her twiggy legs around her wooer. And somewhere, Uncle Jesse weeps.

Milo Ventimiglia and Hayden Panettiere don't seem too concerned with rumors that they're more than just pals and cast mates. The "Heroes" co-stars, who have already been dubbed with the cutesy nickname Halo, were snapped yukking it up as they sat side-by-side Saturday as a Los Angeles Kings game at the Staples Center, says OK!. But anyone hoping for some NHL-appropriate tonsil hockey between the two would have been disappointed, as they remained on their best behavior. Still, at least one spy seems convinced they went a bit offside. A PinkIstheNewBlog operative claims Milo rested his 30-year-old hand on Hayden's 18-year-old leg while she repeatedly rubbed his well-muscled back. But another eyewitness got a distinctly platonic vibe off the pair, telling OK!, "They sat together in the front row through the whole third period, but everything seemed very brother/sister."

Just because Jessica Simpson's dad is apparently trying to set her up with random handsome men doesn't mean she's willing to date just any easy-on-the-eyes D-lister. The New York Post reports the unlucky-in-love blonde gave a persistent Brody Jenner the silent treatment at Manhattan hot spot Tenjune a few days back. "He kept hitting on her," a spy tells the paper, "and she wouldn't even talk to him."

Prince William and Kate Middleton are done with skulking around. The reconciled couple, both 25, sent paparazzi into a tizzy when they exited London's chichi Boujis nightclub Thursday night, the first time they've been snapped together since their brief bust-up in April, reports the Daily Mail. The heir to the throne appeared "distinctly over-refreshed" as he and his "bright-eyed" girlfriend -- along with several bodyguards -- made their way to a waiting Range Rover as shutterbugs clicked away. Earlier in the evening, they dined with pals at Brinkley's restaurant. "They just decided the time was right to let the cat out of the bag," a source tells the London Sun. Adds an insider to the Mail, "The fact that he is happy for them to be seen together again shouldn't be underestimated. He knows that after what happened earlier this year he would look an utter cad if he dumped her again." William and Kate's pivotal night of partying wasn't without incident, however. After the prince complained that shutterbugs had pursued them from the club, several British tabs, sensitive to the inquest that has just been opened into the car crash that killed his mother, Princess Diana, opted not to run the photos.

On the off chance Charlie Sheen doesn't already associate love with pain, he soon will. The custody-battling, "sad jobless pig"-spouting ex of Denise Richards has promised to laser off his 13 tattoos as a show of devotion to fiancée Brooke Mueller, who "hates" them, reports the New York Post. His ink stains include a four-eyed, fire-breathing dragon, a note on his chest reading, "Back in 15 minutes" and a subtext-free eyeball peeking out of an open zipper. Thankfully, the "Denise" tattoo he once etched on his wrist has already been removed.

Next: Christina Stocks Up for the Stork