When "Survivor" debuted to enormous ratings as our millennial clocks simultaneously tumbled over to mark the 21st Century, critics and fans alike pronounced the impending death of the classic television sitcom. Five years later, the beloved genre continues a rapid disintegration that finds networks desperately clinging to tired veterans like "Will & Grace" and "That '70s Show" with the knowledge that any sitcom replacement will likely suffer a quick, largely unnoticed death. If the networks hope to reinvent the sitcom, here are 10 tired clichés that they need to print out, thumb-tack to their writer's foreheads, and never, ever ask us to watch again: The Cliché: Wonder Twin Powers, Activate! As Seen On: "The Addams Family," "Bewitched," "Friends" How It Works: A character meets someone who looks just like him/her, while the viewers know that it's really the famous actor playing both roles with the help of a split screen and some clever editing. Typically, the actor will wear a mustache or wig, accessorizing them with a knowing wink to the audience. A modern example would be "Friends," which shamelessly milked the joke twice, for Phoebe's sister Ursula and Ross' doppelganger Russ. Just in case anyone needed a reminder that David Schwimmer has as many dimensions as a three-panel comic strip. The Cliché: Thinking a Sentence is Two Words Long As Seen On: "Newhart," "Three's Company," "Frasier" How It Works: Someone begins a sentence ("I'm dying ...") and then finishes it ("...my hair on Tuesday.") after an eavesdropping co-star has left the room or removed their glass from the other side of the door. A huge misunderstanding follows, causing everyone to do outrageous things and deliver dialogue that stops just short of necessitating an explanatory conversation. At the end of the episode, naturally, the truth emerges and everyone has a good laugh about it. If only we could had turned the set off two words into the show. The Cliché: Sir, Would You Like a Tongue-Lashing With Your Beverage? As Seen On: "Benson," "Fresh Prince of Bel Air," "Will & Grace" How It Works: Good luck finding any real family that has a butler/live-in maid, never mind one allowed to voice his/her dissatisfaction with the caste system by firing dry-mouthed arrows of sarcasm toward their (typically unsuspecting) employers. If these people hold such resentment, it makes you wonder what they're doing to the food. The Cliché: Double Date, Double Trouble As Seen On: "Sister, Sister," "Boy Meets World," "Joey" How It Works: A seemingly smooth character makes multiple dates for the same night, usually by mistake. Unable to cancel, he/she must run from one place to the other and maintain a seemingly never-ending web of deception, until the pressure becomes too much. Usually, all the dates get mad and leave the character alone, having learned his/her lesson. The canned laughter erupts, the credits roll, and we wonder where the last half-hour of our lives has gone. The Cliché: You're Not My Kid! As Seen On: "Roseanne," "Growing Pains," "Family Ties" How It Works: Everybody knows that when a show needs a ratings boost, you have a baby. But what happens after those initial diaper-changing storylines get old, and the show is bogged down with a silent, comedic dead weight? Age the kid a few years, of course, and bring in a precocious kid actor while keeping the series stars the same age. "Roseanne" took the absurd plot device one step further in 1993, switching in a new actress for the teenaged Becky Conner character. Eventually, Becky was switched back, but few noticed because their televisions had been similarly switched -- to a different channel. Page 1 of 2          Next