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Charlie Sheen says he's a 'professional' and has advice for Lindsay Lohan

By Tim Molloy

In another call to "The Dan Patrick Show," Charlie Sheen said he thinks he can help Lindsay Lohan, and he revealed some of his tricks for remaining upright during tapings.

Yes, really.

Sheen said he has never been drunk or high on the set of "Two and a Half Men," but did rely on furniture to stay standing after a few long nights.

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"Never been drunk, never been high on the set once," Sheen said in an apparent stream of consciousness. "But -- would show up having not slept much. Doing a network run-through and asking the director, Jamie Widdoes -- huge shout-out, best guy alive -- um, to move my mark a little but just so I could be next to a piece of furniture or table ... so I wouldn't fall over."

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"But, but, but, but, but, Dan," he added, "that is an expert move by a seasoned professional. I'm sorry. An amateur stays on his mark and then falls over during the run-through."

"You're a pro's pro," Patrick said.

"Thank you," Sheen replied.

He also asked Patrick to book Lohan on his show because he wanted to offer her advice. He advised her to "work on your impulse control. Just try to think things through a little bit before you do 'em. Now check it, I was not there, in the store. The necklace, the thing, some bracelet -- who cares? I mean, it's, it's, it's -- they're so desperate to vilify, without fact."

Lohan has pleaded not guilty to a felony grand theft charge tied to a claim that she stole a necklace. She is free on bail.

Sheen also made a surprise call-in to the show -- on which he has previously appeared -- on Monday. He said then that his "Two and a Half Men" bosses -- not the rehab he announced he was starting on Jan. 28 -- were to blame for the show's hiatus. He said he was ready to return to work but that they weren't.

More from TheWrap:
Charlie Sheen Rips 'Two and a Half Men' Bosses, Talks About Crack Use
Warner Bros. Not Holding Charlie Sheen to Return Date
Lindsay Lohan, Charlie Sheen Play the Media Role Perfectly