The Executive Decision Cast a vote
for television's best president
By Robert Isenberg Special to MSN Entertainment
If
you're a concerned citizen who votes in presidential every election, you've
probably faced the age-old dilemma: Which potential president is the lesser of
two evils? Whose State of the Union address would I rather watch for five
minutes before flipping to ESPN? And why can't these aspiring statesmen be more
like our favorite fictional presidents? With political TV series such as
"Commander-in-Chief" and "The West Wing," studios can imagine the president of our
dreams (or nightmares), where the executive branch is fully exposed, where
audiences are privy to every moral debate and behind-the-scenes deal. We can jet
across the nation in Air Force One, listening to the gripes and gamesmanship of
the presidents' most loyal advisors, without having to leave the comfort of our
couches. Whether they're actual, re-imagined presidents or they're invented from
high-minded scratch, these commanders-in-chief can be just as appealing
(sometimes more so) than the politicians we actually elect.
Well, this is your chance to cast your ballot for the TV president you'd
like to see seated in the Oval Office. Some candidates are die-hard favorites;
others are more obscure. Some have a sense of humor; others are deadly serious.
A couple candidates are familiar from social studies class and at least one is
an almost-forgotten dark horse. Whatever you do, vote your conscience.
Mackenzie Allen (Geena Davis) "Mac," as her colleagues call her, has
endured a long and winding road -- and the White House has always seemed like an
unlikely home for TV's most famous female president. She started out as a
moderate Republican and became an Independent. She only ran for vice president.
And her status as the titular "Commander-in-Chief" was sort of an accident, made
possible by President Bridges' fatal (and fateful) stroke. But despite her
strange and coincidental journey, President Allen has stepped up the plate --
and faced off with the powerful alpha-males who would see her downfall. She's
had her shaky moments, but President Allen has out-strategized even Nathan
Templeton, the leering (and bigoted) speaker of the House. This may be the
world's toughest job, but Allen has the guts for it. It takes a strong prez to
write a resignation speech -- and a stronger one to abandon it and forge
ahead.
David Palmer (Dennis Haysbert) Until his untimely death this season,
David Palmer was an unshakable moralist and a driving force of "24." Logical, authoritative and dedicated to the safety of
the American people, President Palmer was forced to make some of the toughest
calls in the history of national security: Declare war on the Middle East or
wait for true evidence of wrongdoing? Sacrifice your immaculate reputation or
provide a cover-up for your brother's womanizing? To torture or not to torture?
Savvy and dignified, President Palmer was TV's first vision of an
African-American head of state -- and he embodied both public charisma and
shrewd intelligence. Real leaders could take notes.
Jed Bartlet (Martin Sheen) Folksy and fiery, Jed Bartlet has
been leading his administration for seven seasons -- and his supporters love
him. Since "The West Wing" first aired, Bartlet has been a progressive's dream:
a stately New Englander, a Nobel laureate, a passionate economist who
slam-dunked the SAT's -- and a fan of covered bridges to boot. Barlet isn't
perfect -- aside from sneaking a cigarette (and the hijinx of catching his tie
on fire), he was also slow to stop the Kundunese genocide. But for a guy who had
to rescue his daughter from kidnappers (and did so within 72 hours), Bartlet is
a crafty statesman, both wise and courageous, and just eccentric enough to keep
things interesting.
Henry Hayes (William Devane) When it comes to foreign policy,
President Hayes of "Stargate SG-1" is your man -- especially when the foreigners
are ancient aliens from across the galaxy. Leave it to Hayes to try to negotiate
through a hologram-communicator with Goa'uld Anubis, the extraterrestrial
invader, and don't expect Hayes to just back off and start evacuating the planet
Earth. Oh, no -- we may not know his stance on Social Security, but when it
comes to how to handle the "Stargate," "kicking ass" is the only platform this
president needs.
Julia Mansfield (Patty Duke) Like Garfield and Polk before her, President
Julia Mansfield has been largely buried beneath the sands of time. Surviving
only seven episodes in 1985, President Mansfield was a goofy sitcom prelude to
Mackenzie Allen -- if only because she was the first woman president on TV.
"Hail to the Chief" didn't gain much of a constituency, but Mansfield's White
House was host to a wealth of presidential tomfoolery: An impotent husband,
impending nuclear war, her son involved in a sex scandal -- plus the coarse
words of a glasnost-defying Soviet premier and a Bible-thumping reverend. If
politics is a joke, Mansfield provided some delightful punch lines.
George W. Bush (Timothy Bottoms) The Dubya of "That's My Bush" was
simple, straight-shooting and a little dim -- but with Laura nagging him about
all his half-baked schemes, George would grasp the bigger, brighter picture at
the end of every story arc. Living in a sitcom version of the White House,
where a whimsical neighbor would often drop by and the vice president had the
fumbling comic timing of George Costanza, President Bush was like a grown-up
kid, picking up life lessons and finishing every episode with his unnerving
catchphrase: "One of these days, Laura, I'm gonna punch you in the face!"
Understandably, this series, invented by the twisted creators of "South Park," was cancelled after the fallout of Sept. 11,
and is rarely brought up in pedestrian conversation.
Abraham Lincoln (Dann Florek) Even the real Abraham Lincoln wasn't killed
as instantaneously as "The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer," the 1998 sitcom that
spanned only three dismal episodes. The show featured a raunchy,
hoopskirt-chasing Lincoln, oblivious to the Civil War and lacking in any moral
judgment, as witnessed through the eyes of Desmond Pfeiffer, his English (and
African-American) butler. While we at MSN are generally opposed to smear
campaigns, we can't deny that this show's version of Honest Abe -- and its
concept in general -- merited swift impeachment.
Robert Isenberg is a Pittsburgh-based writer, actor and playwright. He is
co-author of The Pittsburgh Monologue Project.
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