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By Larry Carroll
Special to MSN TV
With George Lopez, Mo'Nique and Wanda Sykes all preparing to enter the talk show world, it
seems more true than ever that everyone in Hollywood gets his or her own
one-hour chat fest if he or she sticks around long enough. But looking back on
the last few decades of talk show failures, a landscape littered with the bodies
of A-listers, also-rans and anonymities, we're reminded that landing yourself a
couch hardly guarantees comfort.
"Queen Latifah Show" (1999-2001)
In early 2003, Dana "Queen Latifah" Owens triumphantly made the awards-season
rounds as a distinguished thespian with an Oscar nomination for her work in Best
Picture "Chicago." Million-dollar offers poured in for the suddenly
sizzling actress, which was particularly shocking because she had bombed as a
lowly daytime talk host just 20 months earlier. Hip-hop's first lady struggled
with less-than-royal ratings despite the aid of friends/guests Diddy, Mary J. Blige and Lauryn Hill and the good karma earned by making
disadvantaged kids' dreams come true. By the time her show was shockingly
renewed for a second season, however, the charismatic host was lost between
social responsibilities (Al Gore and Ralph Nader were guests) and "Jerry Springer"-like sideshow attractions.
"The Tony Danza Show" (2004-2006)
It's difficult to
decide which is more unbelievable: that producers, executives, affiliates and a
studio all believed the world wanted to spend five hours a week with Tony Danza, or that they were kinda right. After a
second-season renewal only slightly less shocking than the O.J. Simpson verdict, "Danza" finally threw in the
towel after more than two years on the air. It's hard to imagine why, with
powerful guests such as Judith Light and a talking parrot, segments on how to make
pizza and regular guest stints from Liza Minnelli. The two most enduring sights from
the show's run will likely be Danza singing cabaret-style at a piano and getting
a concussion during a go-kart race, with the kiddie ride showing Danza once and
for all who really is the boss.
"The Pat Sajak Show" (1989-1990)
Like a "Wheel of
Fortune" contestant attempting to buy a "Y," the game-show host couldn't
have been thinking too clearly when he accepted a gig as a late-night talk-show
host. What began as a 90-minute program was quickly reduced to 60, but that
didn't make it any easier for the eternally grinning Pat Sajak to come up with compelling material. Having the
audacity to try to unseat Johnny Carson, Sajak had the drapes, the spotlight, the band
and the couch but not the charisma. One of Sajak's few memorable episodes
featured an interview with Robbie and Evel Knievel -- appropriate, because
the show was such a disaster.
"The Marsha Warfield Show" (1990-1991)
Who better to host
a talk show than the sixth funniest person from "Night
Court"? After a lengthy search for an affable, homey and quick-witted host,
producers instead offered the job to the woman who played bailiff Roz, a cranky,
manly character who spent most episodes standing in the background with her arms
crossed.
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