Maybe it's ... I think I wasted my time going out with people that I
knew were -- one of my pieces of advice is to trust your gut and your intuition
-- and I think what I've done is I've talked myself into dating people because
they were good on paper or because my friends thought they were great, and I
think a lot of times we know what's best for us and we shouldn't listen to
anyone else and I should just trust my gut about people more. And spending,
like, years ago, I used to spend half my relationships trying to get out of
them. You know, like when it's going on for too long? And I did: I would date
someone for a year, but, like, for six months I was actually trying to get
out of it. I don't do that anymore, but I think sometimes, I'm still like, why
did I even go out with this guy for three dates? I knew by the time the
appetizers got there that he wasn't right for me.
What's the No. 1 piece of dating advice you have for women and
men?
Julia Allison: For women, my No. 1 piece of advice is to be open and say,
"Yes" -- both with your mouth but also your spirit. I know that sounds new-age-y
but the open, engaging, warm, smiling, loving woman is going to have
exponentially more success in dating than the closed-down, shut-down, frowning,
saying-no woman. For men, I would say, um, my biggest thing is women want MEN.
It's not politically correct to say that, but the gist of it is, we don't want
men-children. We don't want ambiguous, amorphous sacks of apathy. Be direct, be
decisive, be secure and assured and confident. That is what women are attracted
to. It's not where you take her on a date, it's your manner of being.
Amy Laurent: Everybody has their different issues and their obstacles that I
work with them on, and it's different for everybody. But at the end of the day,
it's really important that my clients know it's not about changing who you are
and it's not about being something you're not. It's about your approach to
dating and the pace at which you let someone get to know you. That's all.
Emily Morse: For dating, I would just say that my No. 1 dating tip
is to, I guess one of the big things, is to not dwell too much -- not to bring
up your past. Spending time talking about your past relationships, what you've
been through, what you've done, my ex is this, my ex is that, just don't spend a
lot of time bringing up how you were or how many people you've slept with.
That's just damaging in relationships. And then the other thing is confidence.
If you don't have confidence, it should be your life's mission to cultivate
it.
What's the dating scene like where you are? How does it compare to
the other cities being featured in the series?
Julia Allison: I've actually dated in all three cities because I used to live
in New York and have dated quite a few men in San Francisco. So I feel I'm
uniquely suited to compare and contrast the three cities. To sum it up, men in
L.A. are about looks, men in San Francisco are about brains and men in New York
are about careers.
Amy Laurent: I have an office in L.A. and I'm fully aware of the dating
culture there. I haven't spent too much time in San Francisco. Um, New York is
its own animal. I think that in New York City, you tend to have guys that
analyze everything. They're very driven. They're very competitive. But at the
same time, they're great because they are more apt to settle down sooner. They
have traditional values, they're age-appropriate. Where in L.A., it's a little
bit more of that searching for the bigger, better deal. You might have a little
bit less of a shelf life in L.A. But again, we're stereotyping here. There are
great guys in every city and every city has its own stereotype, so I think you
can find a great guy anywhere if you approach it in the right way.
Emily Morse: I can tell you, the San Francisco dating scene is very casual.
There are so many women here that I know who complain that they never get asked
out. It's very casual, very like, "Oh, I'm having some friends over for a BBQ,
maybe you should stop by?" There isn't a lot of very planned dating, whereas I
feel if you go to New York, it's like, people are professional daters. People
just take dating more seriously in New York. In L.A., I'd say, people are always
looking for the bigger, better deal, like looking over their shoulder, the
"BBD." Is there someone who can help me with my career, is there someone that is
better-looking? So maybe it's more superficial in L.A.? But I guess that's very
much a stereotype. I've never lived there, but I feel like that's what I've
heard.
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The series premiere of "Miss Advised" airs Monday, June 18, at 10 p.m.
ET/PT on Bravo.
