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By Meghan Carlson
Staff Writer, BuddyTV
It's been a long and lonely winter without a new "Gossip Girl" to keep warm the cockles of our wicked hearts -- but tonight's the night! It's finally back -- everyone's favorite fictional snobs, snakes, and celebutantes are back tonight. Let's refresh what last we saw on the Upper East Side: Dan Hump-rhey and Serena's ment-whore were hooking up, Chuck was on a hunt to find his mysterious escort dream-girl, and Blair got herself in and out of trouble with Miss Carr, but in the end her acceptance to Yale appeared safe.
Tonight, Gossip Girl welcomes us with some Shakespeare: "All the world's a stage" on the Upper East Side, she says, and this week it's quite literal, since the seniors are putting on their (mandatory) class play, "The Age of Innocence". The sly Chuck Bass (of course) managed to bribe a doctor into diagnosing him with "acute stagefright," so he'll be off on his own dramatic adventures tonight.
Blair is playing Lady Oleska, the "stronger, more emotionally complex" female lead (her description), while Serena will grace the stage as "pretty" (but clearly simple-headed) May. Before rehearsal, Blair and Serena chat about Dan and Serena's new crush on their director Julien. In the background, Dorota sees how she'd look with some curly extensions (Fierce, Dorota!). Blair reminds Serena for us that she should be sick of brooding artists by now, but S is clearly addicted. Then bad news strikes: it seems Nelly Yuki got direct word from the Dean she's been accepted early to Yale. But only one Constance girl per year gets that spot, and it was Blair. Which means...
Oh yeah, and Penelope is the maid in the play, and she gets caught standing next to Dorota backstage in her matching apron. Hilarious!
Out front: Jenny complains about volunteering to do costumes, and Dan sees Miss Carr walk into the theater. The other teachers gossip like "grown up Mean Girls" (Jenny's words) as she walks by. We then find out that Vanessa is filming a "documentary" about the production of the play with her camcorder. She explains to Nate how awesome her film is going to be because of the irony and bad acting, and they make out. Blah blah.
Meanwhile, Chuck, who apparently doesn't go to class anymore ever, walks into a restaurant and sees his father's friend Mr. Campbell, who apologizes for missing the funeral. He then sees, at a different table, Carter Baizen (Ooh, Sebastian Stan, how I love your wicked ways! Any Stan-fans out there, be sure to catch him on Kings!) is back in town, and who else would be sitting with him, but Elle, the mystery masked woman Chuck thinks he is in love with. Oops, Miss Horrible Actress says, she's not Elle, she's Hailey. Chuck's not buying it (duh), and she excuses herself to the ladies' room, but actually ducks out the kitchen. Carter explains to Chuck that he's been in Singapore and picked her up when he landed back in America. As soon as Carter leaves, Campbell gets up and follows.
Cut back to Dan studying his lines as Archer, May's fiancé. But he's distracted thinking about poor Miss Carr being shunned by her co-workers, and he asks Jenny to deliver a note to Rachel. Jenny's worried about Queller finding out, but Dan insists, and Little J manages to slyly drop off the correspondence. Dan writes that he wants to see her. The ment-whore writes back, gives it to Jenny, and then gets up and leaves.
Blair finds Headmistress Queller, who was on her way to tell Blair that Yale rescinded her acceptance because an anonymous caller told Yale why Blair received detention. The Dean called Queller to confirm the details, and even though HM Q explained that Blair made amends, Yale still apparently considers it a serious offense when you bad-mouth a teacher and get her fired (even if it's true). "It's over, you will not be attending Yale," Queller says.
(Story Continues On Next Page...)
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